What the Photo

My wife recently purchased a box of generic Lucky Charms.

Oh God, hold me!

Don’t get me wrong. Generic cereal is fine. But who puts this sort of mascot on a box of cereal?

Marshmallows and Stars. Am I eating this thing’s spawn? He looks like a character from an under-the-sea version of Deliverance. Where the hell is Millville, the heart of the Alabama back-country?

"Serving Suggestion." Also note my leet Nintendo DSi photo-editing skills.

Further inspection reveals that the serving suggestion appears to be marshmallow spooge.

This box screams appetite/portion control. I commend Millville on their contributions toward ending childhood obesity.

So this weekend I inherited an ammo box full of pennies. Many are rolled, some are in those bags that you see robbers running out of the bank with in old cartoons. This thing is so heavy it was a freakin’ team lift to get it into the back of the car to haul it home. I think there may be in excess of $200 in pennies in there (over 100 pounds).

Thanks Dad. I am now in possession of the family fortune.

But what I’m trying to figure out is, what should I do with the pennies?

If I had a million pennies, I could do this.

If I have around $200, that’s only 20,000 pennies. Not even close.

I could tile my bathroom with pennies...

Not a terrible idea. Tile is usually about $1-$2 a square foot anyway.

Still can’t help but think there’s a better use for it all.

Oooohhh yea. Look at all that booty!

Boom. Penny body sculpture of an ass. Perfect.

Anybody got any better ideas?

For conjoined twins, "buddy cops", genetic mutants, people with poor aim, and those with no sense of personal space.

Failure.

Shit.

Just a reminder to all the other unfortunate sods who live in a climate that yields harsh winters: Old Man Winter is coming for us.

"I wanna be where the people are!"

In an alternate script, Ariel, aka “The Little Mermaid” is left standing on the beach when she professes her love to the prince. Because she has a mustache. And tusks. And a uni-brow.

I would not sleep here with a fox, I would not climb into that box.

It’s like something you’d find at the Schrute Farm.

*Cue banjo music*

Perhaps related to the Bicycle Built for Poo?

It's the Deathstar. As a pumpkin.

Wow. If I had that kind of time on my hands, I could probably run some kind of “weird pictures” website or something.